There I was Sunday morning sat in a nice country pub with my lovely girlfriend (we’re talking cute pub dog sat on a stool at the bar, 2 locals supping early beers and a friendly landlady cleaning glasses) when I turn to a section of the paper and notice a big article on Primal Scream touring Screamadelica again.
‘Ah’ I exclaim ‘I’d totally forgotten about this, brilliant!’
‘What’s that love?’ the love of my life enquires.
‘Primal Scream are re-touring Screamadelica and I think Gaz has got me a ticket’ I say.
‘You what? He’s got you a ticket, oh that’s just great’
‘Yeah I think so, it’s a while back but I think he did’ I say absentmindedly still reading the article assuming she’s just joking around cause she’s bored and trying to get my attention and to stop me reading ‘the flipping paper’ as she calls it.
‘That’s the surprise Christmas present I got for YOU!’ she screams!
Now before we go much further let’s set the scene a little. I’ve never really had many great surprises thrust upon me in my life. There was the occasion I was 10 and stood outside a theatre with my Dad looking at a Muppets poster when my Dad pulls 2 tickets out of his pocket and goes ‘here you go son, let’s go see them’.
Later there were birthday bits and bobs and nice pressies but nothing to rival that sheer jaw dropping, sheer unadulterated rush of fantasy that was felt when receiving those Muppets tickets when I least expected it.
As such this announcement from my best friend in all the World that she’s got me tickets to see the best band in all the World playing one of the greatest albums ever and that it was all set to be a Christmas surprise leaves me somewhat frozen. Or to put it another way… this is the point in a Guy Ritchie film where the camera freezes on my shocked gawping face and an East end voiceover announces ‘Wot Ali boy doesn’t realise is he’s just walked into dangeruss territree. Ahh eee plays the next few seconds is gonna make or break his entire life’.
Well suffice it to say readers I royally ****ed it right up.
‘What? You’ve got me the best surprise gift in history and you’ve gone and told me about it?’ I say incredulous.
‘Yes you ****, you just said Gaz got you tickets so you’ve ****ed up my surprise present’.
Well needless to say what ensued was a brilliant argument between 2 people each claiming the moral high ground on the issue until, inevitably, I backed down, renounced my balls and promised never to sort of book tickets with a mate without first checking with her to ensure she didn’t then book surprise tickets for me.
Ah well. That really was the best surprise that never was. Unless the Verve reform for a 3rd time, play A Storm in Heaven tour and my old dog comes back to life I’m pretty much done for things that could top that.
Ack, you win some you lose some but it’s the ride that counts. Well yes but I bloomin well wish I’d not bought that paper on Sunday!
Next time an actual blog post relating to flip flops and not just my blathering rubbish commentary.a storm in heaven, flip flops, primal scream, screamadelica, the verve