The Truth About Shark Finning

Not to be a one trick pony or anything but when you see pictures in videos like this it really gets my goat. So I feel I need to share it if only to help continue to raise awareness about this awful, wasteful industry. The fins don’t taste of anything, they’re full of mercury and just because some old emporer used to eat it doesn’t mean you should in this day and age.

If we’re not careful as a species we’re going to lose the apex predator of the seas and then we will be in trouble and then surfers will have something serious to moan about. Then your kids will one day go “hey mum/dad, why is the sea all green and full of algae, no fish and just shit loads of shit?” and you’ll have to reply “well you see son/daughter we were all total morons growing up and didn’t respect the fleeting paradise we had believing it would go on forever. We hunted everything that lived in there to extinction and some even continued to eat the main apex predator that regulated the seas, all because of some hokey bullshit they believed would make them all more virile even though their penises were 2 inches long and they drove Porsche’s to make up for it. The fact they all died early deaths because of all the Mercury they’d consumed did little to help because by then it was too late and the well balanced eco-systems that had survived for millennia were in total disarray hence the plastic filled turd of a sea you now look at.”

“Mum/Dad were you morons?”

“Yes son/daughter we were. We didn’t fight hard enough to spread the word even though some righteous dudes made some really kick ass infographics about sharks.”

“I thought you said you made those infographics.”

“Yes we did but we were still douche bags. You see we failed to hint massively enough to get people to share the shark extinction infographics meaning not enough people knew until it was too late.”

“I see. Mum/Dad I want to divorce you.”

“I don’t blame you.”

And lo the family did get divorced and the son/daughter did go on to make something of themselves in the wasteland that was left of the Earth. Conversely the mom and dad took acid and spent their final days believing they were descendants of a conifer bush named Bob.